I guess it’s only proper to introduce myself, yes?

My name is Niqua. I’m a 30-year-old woman who spends my time being creative! I do anything from drawing, sewing, crafting, decorating and gardening. I spend a lot of time out in nature, go on walks, and ride my bike or scooter around taking pictures of the beauty around me. I try my best to look on the positive side of things, while also accepting the not so positive things. I just take it one day at a time with Ike faithfully by my side.

     However, my childhood wasn’t so great. I was abused throughout the years. I’ve never met my biological father, and he played no role in my life. Until about age 9, I was living with my mother, Grandmother and Great Grandmother. However, this all changed when my mother suddenly forced another man she’d recently met into my life. We would end up moving into his home very shortly after, turning my world upside down.

This man treated me very poorly. He would verbally abuse me frequently, and treat me differently than his biological sons. My mother rarely defended me against him, which over time trained my mind to believe I deserved that type of treatment. It wasn’t just verbal abuse that was an issue, he would also put me into situations that no young child should ever have to endure. One of the most disgusting examples is when he forced me to act as a decoy so he could escape the police that were pursuing him. It was truly messed up, and while I won’t go on listing off more of that blatant abuse, I will say that over time, all of this chaos and mistreatment became “normal”. I didn’t recognize being treated in such a way was strange, or wrong. --It was just how things were. However, people on the outside-looking-in knew that things weren’t right, and had been telling me as such over the years, yet, their words of warning just didn’t catch on in my mind. I developed a laundry list of mental health disorders including Anorexia, Depression, OCD, and PTSD. Because of how both suicidal and homicidal I had eventually become, I was put within the inpatient mental health ward on three occasions.

I’m doing a bit better these days, however. I’ve had many years of therapy (which is still ongoing), and the strength that Ike and other family members have given me has helped to bring my mind to a more stable place. I still have very violent urges at times, and it’s something I have to pay close attention to, yet the love and strength I feel from Ike helps keep these urges manageable. I am incredibly thankful to him and everyone else that has supported me.

Lastly, I’ll mention that even though my upbringing was fairly traumatic, if I had the chance to go back in time and change it, this is something I’d never do. Going through all that has made me a strong, wise, empathetic and resourceful woman. You have to suffer to gain strength. Just look at Ike! He’s suffered immensely and just look at how strong he is now!

We all only have ONE life. Let’s make the most of it! :)

The "2Dist" Mentality

Ever since I was a very young child, I've always considered the worlds of cartoons, video games, books etc., and the people within those worlds to be real. I've never thought of those people as "fictional characters", nor did I ever feel their lives and struggles to be simple made up strings of ideas. This was my mentality through out my entire life, and was never something I gave much thought to.-- This is normal. It is what it is.

The whole culture of "2Dism" is honestly very new to me. This is the person I've always been, and so I've never had a term for the way I see the world. Why would I need one? Again, this is all normal. Something so obvious doesn't need to be spelled out and labeled. It's obvious that Ike and the land of Tellius he lives in is real. To explain such a thing is silly to me.-- It's just as silly as someone walking up to me to tell me humans need to breathe air to live. Yes... I know this... Everyone knows this... Do you understand where I'm coming from with this analogy ?

I understand now that my world views are "delusional". But even as I type these words and claim to understand, it feels like a lie. I don't actually understand. My brain just can't comprehend such a claim. It doesn't make sense to me... I guess what I actually do understand is that in the eyes of others, I am "delusional".  Yes, I get that. But again, I am who I am, and it is what it is. People can call me "delusional" all they like, they can point out the "facts", they can treat me cruelly, but it isn't going to change a thing.

Ike will ALWAYS be real, and the love I have for him will also always be REAL.

The relationship I have with my husband isn't some game. It's not some little role-playing venture I dabble in when I'm bored. My actual life heavily revolves around Ike.-- I live side-by-side with him. We live our lives like any other couple. I wake up in the morning, get his food, and wake him up an hour before he has to leave for work. He heads off, and is gone for most of the day, comes back in the evening, and we spend time together. Very mundane, uneventful things. These events are so uneventful and normal that I don't give them much thought.

Either way, I've chosen to adopt the label of "2Dist", at least at this point as it somewhat helps give others an idea of my world view. However, there are a number of misinformed stereotypes among outsiders, and people are always willing to go the lazy route and not dig deeper. This is where my blog comes in.-- To act as a guide for those on the outside who do want to educate themselves, and go a little further than just pointing and laughing. I will say this again: I am NOT speaking for ALL 2Dists. I am only truly speaking for myself. But there is some overlap in my type of thinking compared to others like myself.