I guess it’s only proper to introduce myself, yes?
My name is Niqua. I’m a 30-year-old woman who spends my time being creative! I do anything from drawing, sewing, crafting, decorating and gardening. I spend a lot of time out in nature, go on walks, and ride my bike or scooter around taking pictures of the beauty around me. I try my best to look on the positive side of things, while also accepting the not so positive things. I just take it one day at a time with Ike faithfully by my side.
However, my childhood wasn’t so great. I was abused throughout the years. I’ve never met my biological father, and he played no role in my life. Until about age 9, I was living with my mother, Grandmother and Great Grandmother. However, this all changed when my mother suddenly forced another man she’d recently met into my life. We would end up moving into his home very shortly after, turning my world upside down.
This man treated me very poorly. He would verbally abuse me frequently, and treat me differently than his biological sons. My mother rarely defended me against him, which over time trained my mind to believe I deserved that type of treatment. It wasn’t just verbal abuse that was an issue, he would also put me into situations that no young child should ever have to endure. One of the most disgusting examples is when he forced me to act as a decoy so he could escape the police that were pursuing him. It was truly messed up, and while I won’t go on listing off more of that blatant abuse, I will say that over time, all of this chaos and mistreatment became “normal”. I didn’t recognize being treated in such a way was strange, or wrong. --It was just how things were. However, people on the outside-looking-in knew that things weren’t right, and had been telling me as such over the years, yet, their words of warning just didn’t catch on in my mind. I developed a laundry list of mental health disorders including Anorexia, Depression, OCD, and PTSD. Because of how both suicidal and homicidal I had eventually become, I was put within the inpatient mental health ward on three occasions.
I’m doing a bit better these days, however. I’ve had many years of therapy (which is still ongoing), and the strength that Ike and other family members have given me has helped to bring my mind to a more stable place. I still have very violent urges at times, and it’s something I have to pay close attention to, yet the love and strength I feel from Ike helps keep these urges manageable. I am incredibly thankful to him and everyone else that has supported me.
Lastly, I’ll mention that even though my upbringing was fairly traumatic, if I had the chance to go back in time and change it, this is something I’d never do. Going through all that has made me a strong, wise, empathetic and resourceful woman. You have to suffer to gain strength. Just look at Ike! He’s suffered immensely and just look at how strong he is now!
We all only have ONE life. Let’s make the most of it! :)