Baby on the Way
For weeks at this point, my mind has been fixated on the prospect of having a child. I would close my eyes and see a smiling baby's face and myself carrying the little bundle in my arms. Ike would be proudly watching us, swearing to protect us both from all harm. These fantasies have been warm and comforting, and for the first time in my life, the idea of settling down and having a family actually feels...
It's fascinating really. Is this just the natural progression for a woman? --To feel these strong urges to become a mother as we grow older? Or does it stem from the feelings of security and finality of finding the person we are meant to be with? Maybe it's a bit of both.
The journey Ike and I have gone through together all these years till now have truly tested us. We were both forced to face ourselves in ways that made us question everything that we thought we knew about our relationship with each other. For years we were "siblings".-- Keeping each other afloat by inspiring the and encouraging the other. And yet all these years later, after all the suffering and self reflection, romantic love blossomed, and everything became clear.
I've never loved another person the way I love that man Ike. I have had my share of relationships with others both "2D" and "3D", and all the while, my heart was never fully present. Somewhere inside me, my heart and mind knew that something wasn't right; that something didn't quite fit. However, when I finally realized and accepted that I loved Ike, the other shaky elements in my life began falling into place.
I've accepted who I am. I've accepted my feelings. I am being true to myself, and because of this, the fog that has kept me wondering directionless for years has lifted. I have the courage to move forward.
I desire for Ike to be the father of my child.
And all those day dreams of motherhood?
Looks like...there's a baby boy in our future after all.
I wanted to break the exciting news to Ike in a more creative way. So, I decided to create a hand-made letter for him!